I’m sitting here trying to think of what I want to represent for this blog I am starting. I thought to myself; “A blog will be easy, just write what’s on your mind, be real and authentic and people will most certainly read and then just think of all the followers you will have and how your business will grow…..” Funny those thoughts really, other thoughts of mine have been “Once I finish this Baby Yoga training assignments, then I’ll be up and running and then my business will take off” or “I just need time to market and then my business will take off”…..
Some of the above thoughts may be true but I’m coming around to realise that some of it may be some self-sabotage disguised as excuses. Valid excuses mind you – I have 2 young kids and not the type of kids one would think a Yoga teacher would have: Calm, centred, well behaved and dressed in hemp with teething necklaces around their necks. Quite the opposite really – demanding, needy, angry, reliant on digital media, they eat sugar and chicken nuggets. Wonderful kids really but a product of their environment and some genetics of course…. Anyhow, I have digressed, 2 young kids, 3 day a week job, teaching Yoga 3-6 times per week plus planning the classes I need to teach, a husband who works away, keeping a clean house, feeding and keeping 2 kids alive…. I am time poor of course but aren’t we all?
I admittedly have very poor time management skills, especially after having kids, something didn’t click back in my brain after kids. So, I say “I’ve had such a crazy day and I’m really super tired, I just need to check out and watch some TV because it’s how I relax”. Fair enough you may say, not really fair to anyone actually, including myself. It is probably more likely that I am self-sabotaging because I am afraid, not necessarily of failing as I’ve done my fair share of that and I am okay with it as each failure has taught me valuable lessons but maybe it’s because I feel like I do not deserve to succeed and I am sure that if I feel a teeny tiny bit happy then something terrible will happen and I’ll have to start again being okay with where I am and accepting the fact. Something which I have done and possibly been taught to do all my life. Now, there is some truth in that, of course we need to be okay with where we are right now – Yoga has taught me that too but in a positive wonderful way. But it is okay to keep trying, keep practising – practise, practise, practise and all is coming said Pattabhi Jois – to get to a better place but being happy with your journey along the way. Deep down, I know that I have time to make this great and I’m working at it every day and this is the journey I would like to share with you all.
Love, Rachel x